When Prayer Feels Like A Mystery

I recently shipped a birthday present to my sister who lives out of state. When it was delivered, I received a notification marking its arrival; however, my sister couldn’t find the package anywhere. She lives in an apartment and checked all the entrances to her building and with her neighbors to see if anyone had seen it, but it was missing.

We thought the delivery driver might have scanned it but then run out of time on his route, so we figured we’d give it until Monday to see if it showed up. It didn’t. So we waited until Tuesday. Still nothing.

I decided to go ahead and file a claim that it was missing. On Wednesday morning, I heard back that the claim was denied. The delivery company showed it was delivered on Saturday and said that porch pirates aren’t covered for reimbursement.

I was pretty sad. I knew the items I had shipped couldn’t be replaced because they had been collected over time and were no longer available, but I had hoped they would at least reimburse me so I could send something different. 

As I sat in my room contemplating what to do next, I said a simple prayer. Jesus, I know this is just a birthday box, but if it’s possible, could you help it to be found? Then I moved on with my day. Later that day, my sister called to let me know she found the box. Somehow it had been delivered to her back porch. 

The older I get, the more mysterious prayer feels to me. 

The box had likely been on her back porch for 5 days. It seems it was never really lost, only not found. But that day she had an idea to look in a place that didn’t make sense, and there it was. An answer to a prayer prayed hours before. 

It is a mystery to me when prayers are answered. Why this prayer? 

I’ve been praying for other things for years, decades even, and those prayers are still unanswered, or at least unanswered in a way that is evident to me. 

I’ve prayed prayers I was sure God would answer one way, and the result was the exact opposite. I’ve wept over losses that made no sense, and still don’t. I’ve prayed prayers that seemed audacious and then experienced answers I never could have imagined. And I’ve prayed ordinary prayers for help, guidance, and everything in between. 

I’ve long understood that God is not a genie waiting to grant my wishes, or a vending machine ready to dispense what I’ve requested. One certainty I have found in prayer is that, regardless of the outcome, God is with me. I am never alone. Not in my grief. Not in my joy. Not in my longing. Not in my curiosity. 

I find this tremendously comforting. 

Regardless of the outcomes, I continue to pray. It isn’t up to me to determine what will be answered or what won’t, so I keep talking to God about what matters to me, trusting that God can see all of the details I cannot see and will be with me in all things.

Embracing the mystery of prayer helps me to have a measure of peace with all that is unknown. How about you?

~  Melissa