Known and Loved
In the middle of the city, there is a cozy house. It is nestled in The Heights neighborhood, is more than a hundred years old, and bears a historic plaque honoring its history.
Each time I walk up to this house, I smile as I take in the craftsmanship and the beauty of the grounds. There is a peace, an ease, a steadiness about this house. It is a house that hugs you as you enter its door. It is a house that holds laughter and tears with equal care. It is a place of rest and work. It is a place of healing. It is a place where friendship and community flourish.
Over the past four years, I have spent hundreds of hours in this house. First, as I went through training to be certified as a spiritual director, and now as a facilitator who has the great joy of walking with others as they are on their journey toward certification.
Last week, as I sat in the living room with fourteen students wrapping up their first year in the School of Spiritual Direction, I listened as they shared what has been meaningful to them this year, and over and over, the theme of community bubbled up.
Nine months ago, fourteen strangers sat down together for the first time. Those strangers became friends and experienced community in a new and beautiful way. As I have watched this happen year after year, it has changed me. It has changed how I think about community. It has changed what I long for in community.
I recently came across this quote from Dorothy Day -
“We cannot love God unless we love each other, and to love we must know each other. We know Him in the breaking of bread, and we know each other in the breaking of bread, and we are not alone any more. Heaven is a banquet and life is a banquet, too, even with a crust, where there is companionship. We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.”
It is a hard and beautiful quote. I invite you to read it again. Sit with it for a few minutes and notice what stands out to you.
To be sure, we’ve all had different experiences with community. Some life giving, others heart breaking. There is much work to do in knowing each other and loving each other well. That is evident in our world every day.
Trading loneliness for companionship does require some risk, which, depending on your experiences, can feel especially scary. But I think Dorothy is correct in saying that the only solution to loneliness is love, and that love comes with community. There is no way around it.
So I wonder this week -
When have you participated in community where you were deeply known and loved?
Are you in a lonely season? If so, what would it look like for you to search for community?
Have you been wounded in community? If so, what is needed to help you find safety to try again?
Are you being invited to create community for those in your sphere? If so, what might that look like?
If you are longing for community, my prayer for you is that you would find the places and the people who will hold your stories well, and invite you over and over again to show up as your whole self.
~ Melissa