Holy Indifference

When you hear the word indifferent, what comes to mind? Do you find this word to be positive? negative? neutral?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary says that indifferent first begins to show up in our vocabulary around the 14th century, stating that, “The earliest known meaning of the word was “marked by impartiality,” or “unbiased, unprejudiced.” In early use, the word was predominantly applied to people, especially judges.”

Over the years, the word has broadened in meaning, and now there are quite a few definitions, the first being - “marked by a lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern for something: marked by no special liking for or dislike of something: also known as apathetic.”

Generally, the word indifferent has a negative or neutral connotation. Rarely is it considered positive.

We might say we are indifferent about what restaurant we want to go to or which movie we want to see. We might say we are indifferent to a particular person’s opinion. We might say we are indifferent to what is happening in the world. Indifferent means something a little bit different in each of these statements, so we typically decode what we mean based on the context of the conversation.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary says that today we tend to use this word “in reference to things which are viewed as having little consequence.”

Why does any of this matter? Let’s get into it.

In the 15th century, there was a man named Ignatius of Loyola. He grew up in a large family, and when he was old enough, he became a soldier. One day, while in battle, he was hit in the legs by a cannonball. During his convalescence, he encountered Jesus in a profound way and eventually went on to found the Society of Jesus. The people in this group would eventually be known as Jesuits.

The Society of Jesus was different from other monastic groups because, instead of staying together in one place, they were out and about, traveling all around, telling people about Jesus. Unfortunately, like all religious groups, their story is a mixture of doing incredibly good and beautiful work in the world, and causing devastating pain and harm.

One thing that came from Ignatius’s experience is what is known as The Spiritual Exercises. These are a series of prayers, scripture readings, and prompts to help people draw closer to God. These exercises are still taught in a variety of ways today.

In The Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius offers us a different way to think about indifference.

Kevin O’Brien S.J. writes about indifference that, “In Ignatian vocabulary, this term does not mean an unfeeling lack of concern. Instead, indifference means that we hold all of God’s gifts gratefully but also lightly, embracing them or letting them go, all depending on how they help us fulfill our vocation to love in concrete ways. Indifference is another way of describing spiritual freedom. It is a stance of openness to God: we look for God in any person, any situation, and any moment. Indifference means that we are free to love and serve as God desires.”

When I think about indifference in this way, I actually find it quite challenging.

Am I really willing to hold everything loosely, openhandedly, and with curiosity? Am I willing to be ok with how God might want to unfold the story?

Sometimes, my answer is absolutely. Sometimes, if I’m honest, it is no. Sometimes, it is yes, but I need a minute to wrap my head around it.

This type of indifference, sometimes called holy indifference, invites us to reorient. It invites a true accounting of what we are holding tightly to, and what it would look like to loosen our grip. It invites curiosity. It invites an awareness of our attachments, ordered and disordered alike. It invites us to see each opportunity, each season, each experience as a partnership with God, knowing that God’s perspective on the situation is always clearer than ours.

This brings us back to the earliest definition of indifferent - “marked by impartiality” or “unbiased or unprejudiced.” I think Ignatius’s ideas about indifference are more closely rooted in this original definition than in our more modern definitions.

What if in our walk with Jesus we lean into this definition of indifference? What if we really can be impartial when it comes to following Jesus? What if we can be wholly unbiased or unprejudiced when it comes to the decisions we make?

In Philippians 4, Paul says something very similar to Ignatius. Paul writes, “I’ve learned to be content with what I have. I know how to do without, and I know how to cope with plenty. In every possible situation I’ve learned the hidden secret of being full and hungry, of having plenty and going without, and it’s this: I have strength for everything in the one who gives me power.”

This idea of holy indifference seems to be a skill we are invited to practice over and over again as we follow Jesus. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is hard. Every time we can trust that God will be faithful. 

~  Melissa