Books Shape Us

We have a lot of books in our home. I did a quick tally of the bookcases, and we have between 10 and 12, depending on how you count. I think it is safe to say we are quickly approaching 1,000 books, if we haven't already hit that mark. A mini library, I guess.

Several weeks ago, I noticed that the shelves on one of the bookcases in our bedroom were starting to sag. It is an inexpensive unit that came from a big box store years ago, and over time I have packed each shelf with a second row of books. Clearly not meant to carry that load, I started brainstorming about where I could put all those extra books.

I thought about our built-in shelves in the living room and how they were full of books, many of which were from 30+ years ago. I knew that on those shelves there were books that we no longer wanted, but I also knew it was going to take a minute to sort through them.

This past week, we did just that. There are 18 shelves of books, and I removed nearly every book from them over 3 days. Books get so dusty when they sit for a long time, so I cleaned them up and then sorted them into three piles: toss, keep, and donate.

Each night we'd sort through what we wanted to keep, stack the donations into a box to drop at Goodwill, and fill a trash bag with the books to be tossed.

After all of that, I was able to move the extra books from our bedroom to their new home in the living room and still have some shelf space left over for whatever new books we order this year and probably next.

What struck me during this process was how much we've grown and changed. We've been married 26 years. Some of our books came with us into our marriage, and some were given to us or acquired in the early days of figuring out how to be married, how to be parents, and how to be pastors and leaders.

Some of the ideas in those books were deeply life giving and invited us toward flourishing, while other messages were immensely life draining and led us toward disappointment.

When I read a book in my 20's, I assumed that all non-fiction authors were experts. I assumed that the words they had written were researched, tested, and true. I assumed that they all agreed with each other. I assumed that they were writing with the reader's best interest in mind. I was naive. 

One way I have grown as a reader is that I no longer set aside my ideas and viewpoint when I open a book. I read thoughtfully. I notice when what is written causes resistance or resonance within me. I ask questions about why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. I underline things, cross things out, and write notes in the margins. Sometimes I throw books across the room because they are so infuriating.

I also appreciate rereading a book and seeing how my thinking has changed, how my ideas have grown, and how I, too, am on a journey of learning, knowing that each year my capacity to hold the tension of what is written expands.

Over the years, I have come to realize that authors are just people doing their best to communicate a truth into the world. Thinking on it now, it actually feels pretty brave of them to put their thoughts and ideas in writing, knowing that they might change their mind later. When we read their books, we are getting a snapshot in time, a look into who that person was at a certain age or stage. The author understands the risk that if they change their mind, their previous ideas will remain in the world for others to scrutinize for their lifetime and beyond, and they write the book anyway.

Sadly, I've discovered that some books deserve to be thrown in the trash. There is just no way to justify the faulty narrative they perpetuate or the harm that they cause.

But usually, I think books invite us to consider another person's wonderings. I think they open us up to stories we might not otherwise encounter, and they challenge us to sit with our own ideas and wrestle with how those ideas have taken root within us.

The best books, both fiction and non-fiction, expand our compassion, deepen our capacity for love, and leave us changed forever. These books should be talked about, argued about, cried over, laughed at, and shared.

Everything is forming us. The books that we read are no exception. How are your books shaping you? 

~  Melissa