Assessments

From fall 2020 to spring 2021, I participated in a coaching group. I was involved in children's ministry at the time and was invited to sign up for a coaching program with a network I had been connected with for a few years. I didn't exactly know what to expect when I signed up for this experience, but it turned out to be a gift in so many ways.

The group I was in had five members. We didn't know each other when we started, but we committed to show up every other week for nine months. We had regular lessons to read and homework to complete. All of us were children's pastors processing ministry in the middle of a pandemic. It was a wild and beautiful time.

Early on in the program, we were asked to take a spiritual gifts assessment and the CliftonStrengths assessment. I was hesitant to complete this task. I had taken many assessments over the years, and most of the time, they left me feeling like I didn't measure up - like my gifts weren't flashy or impressive enough to warrant their use.

Regardless of my resistance, I completed the assigned task. 

I had never taken the CliftonStrengths test, but when I read the results, I was shocked at how accurately they described me. I realized, as I read those reports, that many of my strengths had been mirrored back to me as weaknesses over the years.

Once I noticed this, I was able to sit with that list of strengths and see them in a new way. Instead of data collection being a negative thing, I realized that asking questions is a way for me to connect the dots and relate ideas together. For some, my questions felt threatening or annoying, as if I were disagreeing with an idea or dismissing a vision. However, in reality, I asked questions to understand the details, which in turn helped me clarify my responsibilities and communicate the project's goals effectively.

This work in my coaching group helped me to see the ways I'd believed my strengths to be weaknesses and reawakened within me a desire to start healing broken narratives. It is a journey I continue to find myself on five years later.

Not only did we review the CliftonStrengths assessment, but we also took the time to discuss our spiritual gifts. I've consistently scored high in administration, teaching, and shepherding, and exhortation and mercy are usually among my top five as well.

For as far back as I can remember, administration has been my highest scoring result on every spiritual gifts test I've done. For years, I thought that was so disappointing. Why couldn't it be something more exciting? In my youth group days, those who scored high in prophecy or words of wisdom were revered. Administration was never seen as an inspiring gift.

Exploring these gifts reminded me of years when I'd felt less than because of the scores that happened to show up on particular assessments. This wasn't just at church, but also at school. I lied about my ACT score for a long time because I was so embarrassed by my score compared to my peers.

The thing is that assessments don't define us. They are simply tools to help us know ourselves better. They were never meant to diminish us or make us small. They were always meant to offer clarity and invite us to grow.

I wonder how you feel when you think about assessments. Do you find them to add value? Do they cause you to shrink? Do they puff you up? Are you believing any faulty narratives because of the results of a particular assessment over the years?

I want to remind you today that you are deeply and wholly loved. Your gifts and strengths, whatever they are, have the ability to add truth, goodness, and beauty to the world around you and to shine light into the darkness. There is no one else like you, and your particular combination of skills is what makes you, you! 
 

~  Melissa